Pipe Dreams
How do you truly live?
What is it that seperates those few from the rest?
Certain rare individuals live great lives. Their stories inspire us to truly live.
When they die, their legacy lives on. The life they lived was worthwhile. They took full advantage of the years they were given. How did they do it? What made them great?
I do not want to live a life of mediocrity. I want this thing to mean something to somebody. I cannot just pass through my years only to look back with regret. I want to make a difference.
But alas, these are but the fading pleas of a whisp of vapor. My dreams will soon fade and I will look back to realize how disillusioned I was with this childish fantasy. Nobody really grows up to be a cowboy. Those childhood dreams are a false hope. Someday I will have to grow up and stop living in my dreamworld. Life is not an adventure, it just seems like that until you become an adult.
What is it that seperates those few from the rest?
Certain rare individuals live great lives. Their stories inspire us to truly live.
When they die, their legacy lives on. The life they lived was worthwhile. They took full advantage of the years they were given. How did they do it? What made them great?
I do not want to live a life of mediocrity. I want this thing to mean something to somebody. I cannot just pass through my years only to look back with regret. I want to make a difference.
But alas, these are but the fading pleas of a whisp of vapor. My dreams will soon fade and I will look back to realize how disillusioned I was with this childish fantasy. Nobody really grows up to be a cowboy. Those childhood dreams are a false hope. Someday I will have to grow up and stop living in my dreamworld. Life is not an adventure, it just seems like that until you become an adult.
Apathy
My whole life has been a struggle against apathy. This spirit of listlessness has invaded my life on more than one occasion. It comes upon me in a gradual almost indiscernable manner. But before long this virus has run its course. The infection grows exponentially out of control, ravaging my time and stripping the joy out of everything. I am left literally feeling sick and empty. I am nauseated with myself and desperate for something that will sustain.
What a Waste!
So it is 3:09 AM and I cannot fall asleep. I have not posted in quite and while and a friend of mine just reminded me of this fact. After she pointed this out I realized how whacked out my life has been recently. All the little unimportant things clammoring for my attention have distracted me from the big thing in life. It struck me that these past few weeks have been largely a disappointment. There were moments of sunshine, but for the most part I have frittered away my time and energy. The result is that I feel physically, emotionally, spiritually exhausted and yet I've accomplished nothing. Do you ever feel like you are steadily progressing down a path you've promised you'ed never follow? Well, that is a little bit of where I am right now.
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