Grace, she takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name
Grace, it's the name for a girl
It's also a thought that changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness in everything
Grace, she's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside of karma
She travels outside of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear her strings
Grace finds beauty in everything
Grace, she carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips between her fingertips
She carries a pearl in perfect condition
What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because Grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things
Grace makes beauty out of ugly things
Worldviews in Pop Culture
The Departed, Blades of Glory, and Blood Diamond...what do these very different movies all have in common?
In my opinion, not much at all.
Besides all three being movies that I recently watched, the only similarity they shared was that they all express a worldview. Obviously any form of art is created from a certain perspective. And after watching these movies I began to notice the stark contrast between their respective worldviews. What motivated the artist to create the film? What message does it convey? Each of these movies seem to be representative of certain trends in hollywood.
To begin with, The Departed is part of the depressing genre of movies that are rooted in an equally depressing worldview. These movies attempt to portray the harsh 'reality' of a broken world spirialing downward in an endless path of destruction. The basic worldview in these movies can be summed up in the latin quote used in the first line of the movie: "Non Serviam". This line has a long history in literature, most notably it was Lucifer's response to God when he rejected Him as Lord. The idea is that it is better to reign in hell than submit in heaven. This worldview is shared by several of the main characters in The Departed, especially Jack Nicholson's character.
Blades of Glory on the other hand caters to a much different crowd. Rather than addressing any of life's serious issues, this movie is purely entertainment. Its purpose is to distract the viewer from reality by making fun of everything, and hopefully to provide a moment of lighthearted fun. While this genre of film can be hilarious I often feel disatisfied with the lack of substance when I reflect on the experience.
Third and finally, there are movies like Blood Diamond. While these movies are often rooted in real life, their view is very different than movies like The Departed. Although they both depict the grim tragedy of reality, their response is much different. The example of Leonardo diCaprio's character is illustrative of the difference in worldviews. In The Departed his character is hard and cynical about life, his only goal is to make a difference in his world. Sadly, this hope fades throughout the movie as he becomes convinced of the pointlessness of life. In Blood Diamond his character is almost identical. He is a jaded man with no real hope, as is evident when he says, "Sometimes I wonder... will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize... God left this place a long time ago." Yet through the influence of several characters he begins to see a little bit of goodness and hope in the dark world.
I wonder why respond to certain movies the way I do. What is it that makes me feel happy after some movies and sad after other? Why do I enjoy watching movies like Blood Diamond despite the sickening injustice depicted? And why do I feel dissatisfied by others? I've thought a lot about this, and I think I might have a inkling. To me, it is all about hope. In fact, hope is a really important theme in everything I see and hear. My world revolves around hope and when I see evidence of hope in the world I am attracted to it. To me, hope is vital. Because honestly, the world is a pretty messed up place. In the midst of all this tragedy a little ray of hope is powerful. Hope is a frail thing, a precious thing, it is the one thing that makes life worth living.
In my opinion, not much at all.
Besides all three being movies that I recently watched, the only similarity they shared was that they all express a worldview. Obviously any form of art is created from a certain perspective. And after watching these movies I began to notice the stark contrast between their respective worldviews. What motivated the artist to create the film? What message does it convey? Each of these movies seem to be representative of certain trends in hollywood.
To begin with, The Departed is part of the depressing genre of movies that are rooted in an equally depressing worldview. These movies attempt to portray the harsh 'reality' of a broken world spirialing downward in an endless path of destruction. The basic worldview in these movies can be summed up in the latin quote used in the first line of the movie: "Non Serviam". This line has a long history in literature, most notably it was Lucifer's response to God when he rejected Him as Lord. The idea is that it is better to reign in hell than submit in heaven. This worldview is shared by several of the main characters in The Departed, especially Jack Nicholson's character.
Blades of Glory on the other hand caters to a much different crowd. Rather than addressing any of life's serious issues, this movie is purely entertainment. Its purpose is to distract the viewer from reality by making fun of everything, and hopefully to provide a moment of lighthearted fun. While this genre of film can be hilarious I often feel disatisfied with the lack of substance when I reflect on the experience.
Third and finally, there are movies like Blood Diamond. While these movies are often rooted in real life, their view is very different than movies like The Departed. Although they both depict the grim tragedy of reality, their response is much different. The example of Leonardo diCaprio's character is illustrative of the difference in worldviews. In The Departed his character is hard and cynical about life, his only goal is to make a difference in his world. Sadly, this hope fades throughout the movie as he becomes convinced of the pointlessness of life. In Blood Diamond his character is almost identical. He is a jaded man with no real hope, as is evident when he says, "Sometimes I wonder... will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize... God left this place a long time ago." Yet through the influence of several characters he begins to see a little bit of goodness and hope in the dark world.
I wonder why respond to certain movies the way I do. What is it that makes me feel happy after some movies and sad after other? Why do I enjoy watching movies like Blood Diamond despite the sickening injustice depicted? And why do I feel dissatisfied by others? I've thought a lot about this, and I think I might have a inkling. To me, it is all about hope. In fact, hope is a really important theme in everything I see and hear. My world revolves around hope and when I see evidence of hope in the world I am attracted to it. To me, hope is vital. Because honestly, the world is a pretty messed up place. In the midst of all this tragedy a little ray of hope is powerful. Hope is a frail thing, a precious thing, it is the one thing that makes life worth living.
Kierkegaard's Last Written Words
I have nothing more to add. But let me merely say this, which in a way is my life, is to me the content of my life, its fullness, its bliss, its peace and satisfaction. Let me express this, a view of life which comprehends the idea of humanity and human equality: Christianity implies, unconditionally, that every man, every single individual is equally close to God...How close and equally close? Because Loved by Him. Consequently, there is equality, the equality of infinity, between man and man. If there is any distinction, it is that one person bears in mind that he is loved, perhaps day after day, perhaps day after day for seventy years, perhaps with one longing, a longing for eternity so that he can really grasp this thought and go through life with it, concerning himself with the blessed occupation of meditating on how he is loved - and not alas because of his virtue. Another person perhaps does not remember that he is loved, perhaps goes on year after year, day after day, and does not think of his being loved; or perhaps he is glad and grateful to be loved by his wife, by his children, by his friends, by his contemporaries, but he does not think of his being loved by God. Or perhaps he laments not being loved by anyone and does not think of his being loved by God. Infinite divine love; it makes no distinction! But what of human ingratitude? If there is any equality among us men in which we completely resemble each other; it is that not one of us truly thinks about being loved!
- Kierkegaard
Let the Lord Love You
I cringe every time you cut yourself down,
You hide your pain like it doesn't count.
So when I hear you laugh, are you crying deep inside?
'Cause you fall below the standards in your mind.
Though you'd never deny our God's a loving God,
You feel He turns away when you make mistakes.
But our heavenly Father nurtures his own.
To Him you matter more than you'll ever know
So let the Lord love you
Let His voice be heard above the rest
Hold on o what you know is true
And let the Lord love you.
We may search for truth, but we listen more to lies
Play them over and over in our minds
Till we're left with some distorted point of view
That cripples who we are and all we do.
There are times you gotta fight for all you're worth
Stand up to the voices from the past
And as you draw close to Him the more moments you'll have
When His love overwhelms and you know it's true
That the Lord, He loves you
So let His voice be heard above the rest
Hold on to what you know is true
And let the Lord love you
You gotta let the Lord love you.
-Rory Noland, from the book Heart of the Artist
Spring Break Trip
So S.B. '07 was totally rockin'. Too much awesomeness to even describe. Just imagine my wildest dreams coming true and then some more awesome just for kicks! I don't even know if 'awesome' is quanitifiable (since I don't understand any math past geometry), but if it is then you wouldn't even be able to count the amount of awesome we had.
First of all, I got to see my freakin' family!!! And yes, they are incredible. When I realized that I might not be able to see them over the break I almost died. Then when it worked out that I could see them I practically cried for joy...okay I did. And then when I got to see them it was utter bliss. Needless to say I got a lot of love in the form of great hugs and kisses. I love my family and I want the world to know it (Aside to family: you guys totally rock my whole face off!)!!!
Second of all, I am going to have to write a book of our adventures in Ft. Lauderdale. In leiu of the book, here is the list of titles from each chapter:
First of all, I got to see my freakin' family!!! And yes, they are incredible. When I realized that I might not be able to see them over the break I almost died. Then when it worked out that I could see them I practically cried for joy...okay I did. And then when I got to see them it was utter bliss. Needless to say I got a lot of love in the form of great hugs and kisses. I love my family and I want the world to know it (Aside to family: you guys totally rock my whole face off!)!!!
Second of all, I am going to have to write a book of our adventures in Ft. Lauderdale. In leiu of the book, here is the list of titles from each chapter:
- Where does all that toll money go?
- They have a tennis court in their back yard?!
- 300
- Speedos and Eurotrunks .... hmmm, gross!!!
- We're going to see Miami Heat play, NOT
- Stuck in Miami with no gas and useless tickets
- The girl on the moped
- IHOP at Southbeach: after midnight
- Tennis for beginners (Alec can't serve)
- Do you still say goodmorning when you wake up in the afternoon?
- Brookstone is fun
- Tequila Ranch is expensive
- We're going bowling, PSYCH
- Memorable Quotes vol. I Kellis' cracks on Alec
- Memorable Quotes vol. II Alec vs. M.E.: "oh no he didn't!"
- Memorable Quotes vol. III M.E. vs. Alec: "the comeback"
- Appendix A: More Memorable Quotes
While most of these chapters require an in depth reading, I hope that the summary whets your appetite for some stories. To all those involved, wow.
Lastly, the final night at the Ryan's was so good. We had an amazing dinner of the Ryan's trademark fuzzy chicken (or was it furry?). And then we sat around and played a few enthralling card games. But as the night wound down things got better and better. We ended up sitting around the living room talking about life. We began by voicing some frustrations with our college experience. Personally, I've been struggling with whether I made the right choice in coming to Covenant. Deep in my heart I know that is where I am supposed to be right now, but I've been losing sight of my motivation. Apathy has become one of my darkest foes and I often don't realize we are in a battle until my butt is kicked. The tendency when faced with reoccuring frustration is to throw in the towel. If you know your butt is about to get kicked again, why even bother getting back in the ring? Well, that has been my reasoning recently. Depending on your perspective that can be a very logical choice. If you have nothing for which to fight then it would be wise to save yourself the pain and embarassment. But is there nothing to fight for? Is it pointless to hope?
I have found that it is not hopeless. We have more than hope, we have a promise. In fact, we can boldly stand on the fact that the battle is already won. There is something worth fighting for, worth living for. My life is made meaningful because of Jesus Christ. I have tasted a life without God, a life not worth living. I have been terrified by the thought of a universe so sterile and lifeless, void of purpose, in a word; pointless. I have wrestled with the truth so paradoxical, so mindboggling until I surrendered to its sweetness. I know I'll never fully understand the truth. But, oh it is so beautiful! My worthless soul is loved and valued by God. The King of the universe looks upon me with love. It is the kindess of the Lord leads me to repentance. I will never comprehend how the Lord calls me His beloved. I; the adulterous whoremonger who runs away to seek love in all the wrong places. I; the unfaithful bride who spits in the face of her perfect groom. I; the ever-forgetful lover who questions their Lover's commitment, while never fully trusting Him myself. I am His beloved.
That is enough for me. I will not lose hope. I will not throw in the towel. There is something good worth living for. It is the good news that the world needs to hear. Yes, it is dark out there. In fact it is downright depressing sometimes. And I am just another mess in this debaucle. But, in spite of myself, He loves me. He values my worthless soul. That is what makes this life worthwhile. There is a light of hope that pierces the darkness. And even the deepest darkness cannot overcome it! The message of love gives hope to all who hear. And that gospel is powerful. Though yet a small flame, it grows into an all-consuming fire. Our God is an awesome God.
Mission to Monterrey
Go check out the blog for our mission trip to Monterrey! I'll be going with the Covenant College soccer team.
http://missiontomonterrey.blogspot.com/
Helpless?
I love the Sabbath! I am constantly amazed when I see the work of His hand in all the great things, like the cool crisp air and the bright clear sky. Yet I am even more touched by His attention to the seemingly insignificant. I love how the Lord knows exactly what I need to hear.
Today at Rock Creek Fellowship Pastor Eric spoke about helplessness. Interstingly enough, he had prepared an entirely different sermon but decided to give this message instead. The scripture came from Psalm 86, where David cries out to the Lord. Eric pointed out an enlightening paradox. That thing about myself that I most detest is actually one of my greatest strengths. This sounds weird but it is true. It is only when I am helpless that I open my heart to God. That which I detest in myself is what brings me to my Father's feet.
I don't have any trouble seeing my own inadequecy, it is readily apparent. My problem is that instead of allowing my helplessness to drive me to my knees, I fight all the more frantically to stand on my own strength. I realize how dense I am, but I must constantly be reminded to surrender to the Lord. As Eric said, "helplessness spurs on prayer." God places frustrations in my life to impel me to pray.
Now that I understand what is going on, I feel like such a fool. God doesn't call me to be strong and stubborn as I battle. On the contrary, He beckons me to admit my weakness, and rely on Him to fight for me. I've come to realize that the harder I struggle on my own, the worse off I end up. If I can just learn to rely on Him from the start I will forego a lot of heartache.
Today at Rock Creek Fellowship Pastor Eric spoke about helplessness. Interstingly enough, he had prepared an entirely different sermon but decided to give this message instead. The scripture came from Psalm 86, where David cries out to the Lord. Eric pointed out an enlightening paradox. That thing about myself that I most detest is actually one of my greatest strengths. This sounds weird but it is true. It is only when I am helpless that I open my heart to God. That which I detest in myself is what brings me to my Father's feet.
I don't have any trouble seeing my own inadequecy, it is readily apparent. My problem is that instead of allowing my helplessness to drive me to my knees, I fight all the more frantically to stand on my own strength. I realize how dense I am, but I must constantly be reminded to surrender to the Lord. As Eric said, "helplessness spurs on prayer." God places frustrations in my life to impel me to pray.
Now that I understand what is going on, I feel like such a fool. God doesn't call me to be strong and stubborn as I battle. On the contrary, He beckons me to admit my weakness, and rely on Him to fight for me. I've come to realize that the harder I struggle on my own, the worse off I end up. If I can just learn to rely on Him from the start I will forego a lot of heartache.
His Whisper
Years ago I heard the Lord speak to me. I was prostrated by His glory. The radiance of His holiness was blinding, white hot like the sun. Before the Lord I become keenly aware of how insignificant I was. Everything within me screamed unworthy! You cannot be in the presence of utter holiness without being terrified by your own impurity. I fell on my face and basked in His presence. While I was shouting unworthy, He was whispering that He loved me. I could not understand why He loved me. I was detestable in His sight, yet He embraced me with His love. Oh, the warmth of his presence! To sit upon His lap and be embraced by His mighty arms. To rest my head upon my Father's breast. To be still and know He is God. To rest in His wonderful presence.
I clearly remember Him speaking to my heart. He wanted me to share this love that I had tasted. He had changed me forever when He touched my heart. From that moment I knew I would never be the same. He was calling me to share the gospel to the nations!
Now, I look back on that day. I have grown older and maybe wiser. But I have also wandered away. I have heard His call and turned my back. I have become cynical and jaded. I have hardened my heart, ignoring His still small voice. And every now and then I hear a whisper. It is faint now and almost imperceptible. But He is still calling me. Though I may have given up hope, He has remained faithful. I am still unworthy and He still tells me I am loved. I feel so far from Him and all I want is to come back and rest in His presence.
I clearly remember Him speaking to my heart. He wanted me to share this love that I had tasted. He had changed me forever when He touched my heart. From that moment I knew I would never be the same. He was calling me to share the gospel to the nations!
Now, I look back on that day. I have grown older and maybe wiser. But I have also wandered away. I have heard His call and turned my back. I have become cynical and jaded. I have hardened my heart, ignoring His still small voice. And every now and then I hear a whisper. It is faint now and almost imperceptible. But He is still calling me. Though I may have given up hope, He has remained faithful. I am still unworthy and He still tells me I am loved. I feel so far from Him and all I want is to come back and rest in His presence.
My Hardening
I was just reading a prayer newsletter from Voice of the Martyrs. You can receive updates as well if you go to persecution.com and sign-up. Each week I read stories about my brothers and sisters who are suffering and even dying for their faith. Yet I feel so distant from them. I don't know what it is like to be verbally assaulted because of Jesus, much less be physically harmed. And the more I hear about those who are suffering, the more calloused I become. Sometimes I simply delete the newsletter because I do not want to have to think about them. But ignoring their suffering does not make it go away.
What a shame it is that I am able to live in such a state of denial! Honestly, how could anyone go on their merry way when they know what I know. Maybe it is because I am not personally affected by their pain, maybe it is because they are so far away, maybe it is because I choose to harden my heart. The thing that saddens me most is how disconnected I am. I am disconnected from my suffering brothers and sisters, I am disconnected from the dying world, and most of all, I am disconnected from my Savior.
A long time ago, I used to care. I used to ask the Lord to soften my heart. I would pray that I could see the world through my Father's eyes, who looks with compassion upon the nations. I used to say that the deeper one knows God the more empathy they would have for others. I used to care. Now, now I don't give a damn. The only one I care about it me. I walk through my day, follow my schedule, spend time with my friends, and then do my work, and get my sleep. What a miserable waste of life! If only my heart would beat for someone other than myself.
Is it too late for me? Have a followed my own path for too long? Can I find my way back, or am I beyond hope? I don't know. My heart feels very hard and it is getting heavy. I want to be pure again. I want to feel compassion again. I want to give a damn. I want to hear the Lord speak and to feel His presence. I want to obey. I want to have a soft heart that beats as one with my Father. I want to freely follow Him wherever He leads. God I want to live again! I want that passion I once had, that consuming flame of zeal. That pure faith that followed undoubtedly after my Savior.
I've had enough catechism and doctrine to last me a lifetime. I don't want to talk about it anymore, I don't want to theorize about it anymore, I don't want to argue and nitpick about it anymore. I don't care about religion. All the religion in the world never saved a single soul. I want Jesus Christ. I want to know Him. I want to walk beside Him and know His life. I want to know his suffering, I want to know Him in his life, death and resurrection. That is all I care about.
I came to Covenant so that I would be equipped to engage my world for Christ. Maybe I should have just followed my heart. As I look back at the last three years and see where I have come, I wonder if maybe I made the wrong choice. In coming to Covenant I entered a bubble. I became a part of a community that is secluded from the world. My heart withered and my zeal fizzled out. I have felt the spiritual depression weighing heavily on my soul. As I look at our spiritually inbred community I am torn. My heart aches to boldly proclaim the gospel but I fear that it will be ignored as trite. We of all people should get it! In am place where the hope we have in Christ is daily proclaimed, yet I am overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness. We are the pharisees of this age. We can discuss the ins and outs of the doctrine of election, yet we don't lift a finger to reach out to the lost. We argue all the sides of limited atonement but refrain from sharing about Christ's sacrifice. We philosophize about the paradox between free will and God's sovereignty, while souls are perishing oblivious to the gospel. How did we become so disconnected? How did I get so lost?
What a shame it is that I am able to live in such a state of denial! Honestly, how could anyone go on their merry way when they know what I know. Maybe it is because I am not personally affected by their pain, maybe it is because they are so far away, maybe it is because I choose to harden my heart. The thing that saddens me most is how disconnected I am. I am disconnected from my suffering brothers and sisters, I am disconnected from the dying world, and most of all, I am disconnected from my Savior.
A long time ago, I used to care. I used to ask the Lord to soften my heart. I would pray that I could see the world through my Father's eyes, who looks with compassion upon the nations. I used to say that the deeper one knows God the more empathy they would have for others. I used to care. Now, now I don't give a damn. The only one I care about it me. I walk through my day, follow my schedule, spend time with my friends, and then do my work, and get my sleep. What a miserable waste of life! If only my heart would beat for someone other than myself.
Is it too late for me? Have a followed my own path for too long? Can I find my way back, or am I beyond hope? I don't know. My heart feels very hard and it is getting heavy. I want to be pure again. I want to feel compassion again. I want to give a damn. I want to hear the Lord speak and to feel His presence. I want to obey. I want to have a soft heart that beats as one with my Father. I want to freely follow Him wherever He leads. God I want to live again! I want that passion I once had, that consuming flame of zeal. That pure faith that followed undoubtedly after my Savior.
I've had enough catechism and doctrine to last me a lifetime. I don't want to talk about it anymore, I don't want to theorize about it anymore, I don't want to argue and nitpick about it anymore. I don't care about religion. All the religion in the world never saved a single soul. I want Jesus Christ. I want to know Him. I want to walk beside Him and know His life. I want to know his suffering, I want to know Him in his life, death and resurrection. That is all I care about.
I came to Covenant so that I would be equipped to engage my world for Christ. Maybe I should have just followed my heart. As I look back at the last three years and see where I have come, I wonder if maybe I made the wrong choice. In coming to Covenant I entered a bubble. I became a part of a community that is secluded from the world. My heart withered and my zeal fizzled out. I have felt the spiritual depression weighing heavily on my soul. As I look at our spiritually inbred community I am torn. My heart aches to boldly proclaim the gospel but I fear that it will be ignored as trite. We of all people should get it! In am place where the hope we have in Christ is daily proclaimed, yet I am overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness. We are the pharisees of this age. We can discuss the ins and outs of the doctrine of election, yet we don't lift a finger to reach out to the lost. We argue all the sides of limited atonement but refrain from sharing about Christ's sacrifice. We philosophize about the paradox between free will and God's sovereignty, while souls are perishing oblivious to the gospel. How did we become so disconnected? How did I get so lost?
Pangs of Hope
What makes your chest ache? What is it that tugs at your soul so strongly that your body aches? From whence comes the deep yearning for you know not what?
As I journey through this life, every so often I catch a glimpse of something amazing. It is in these times that my heart is gripped and my thoughts are stilled. Although I cannot pinpoint the source of this experience, I know that my soul is yearning. It is as if I have been given a glimpse of the unfathomable. My deepest dreams seem to be blossoming into reality. Just for an instant I do more than wonder, I believe!
The pang of hope which pierces my heart is nearly unbearable. I have tasted the inexpressible and my desire is unleashed. I want more than anything to experience the fullness of this hope. Yet I fear that I am not yet able to stand in the presence of such terrible beauty.
I think it is this deep yearning that C.S. Lewis knew and about which he often alluded:
I know this longing. It is strong enough to knock the wind from your chest and gentle enough to lead you to weep. This longing is more real than any earthly desire. It is more true than anything I've ever know. It is this yearning, this hope, which sustains me. It is a cool refreshing drink from the still waters. When my soul is weary and my mind is anxious then the Lord restores my soul with a glimpse of that place. With that pang He renews my hope.
As I journey through this life, every so often I catch a glimpse of something amazing. It is in these times that my heart is gripped and my thoughts are stilled. Although I cannot pinpoint the source of this experience, I know that my soul is yearning. It is as if I have been given a glimpse of the unfathomable. My deepest dreams seem to be blossoming into reality. Just for an instant I do more than wonder, I believe!
The pang of hope which pierces my heart is nearly unbearable. I have tasted the inexpressible and my desire is unleashed. I want more than anything to experience the fullness of this hope. Yet I fear that I am not yet able to stand in the presence of such terrible beauty.
I think it is this deep yearning that C.S. Lewis knew and about which he often alluded:
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
- Mere Christianity
"It was when I was happiest that I longed most...The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...to find the place where all the beauty came from."
-Till we Have Faces
I know this longing. It is strong enough to knock the wind from your chest and gentle enough to lead you to weep. This longing is more real than any earthly desire. It is more true than anything I've ever know. It is this yearning, this hope, which sustains me. It is a cool refreshing drink from the still waters. When my soul is weary and my mind is anxious then the Lord restores my soul with a glimpse of that place. With that pang He renews my hope.
The Significance of Sin
My sin crucified Christ.If only I would keep the weight of my sin constantly before me...then will I begin to understand the depth of my savior's sacrifice...and know the gravity of my sin; the devestating effects of my selfish decisions.
My sin crucified Christ.
The Height of Hypocrisy
Why is it that I can live in sin and feel no remorse? My heart can be so hardened to the pleas of God that I no longer feel ashamed at my sin....and yet I am disgusted when I see sin other's lives. Lord God I am a hypocrite!
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