Kierkegaard's Last Written Words

I have nothing more to add. But let me merely say this, which in a way is my life, is to me the content of my life, its fullness, its bliss, its peace and satisfaction. Let me express this, a view of life which comprehends the idea of humanity and human equality: Christianity implies, unconditionally, that every man, every single individual is equally close to God...How close and equally close? Because Loved by Him. Consequently, there is equality, the equality of infinity, between man and man. If there is any distinction, it is that one person bears in mind that he is loved, perhaps day after day, perhaps day after day for seventy years, perhaps with one longing, a longing for eternity so that he can really grasp this thought and go through life with it, concerning himself with the blessed occupation of meditating on how he is loved - and not alas because of his virtue. Another person perhaps does not remember that he is loved, perhaps goes on year after year, day after day, and does not think of his being loved; or perhaps he is glad and grateful to be loved by his wife, by his children, by his friends, by his contemporaries, but he does not think of his being loved by God. Or perhaps he laments not being loved by anyone and does not think of his being loved by God. Infinite divine love; it makes no distinction! But what of human ingratitude? If there is any equality among us men in which we completely resemble each other; it is that not one of us truly thinks about being loved!

- Kierkegaard

Let the Lord Love You

I cringe every time you cut yourself down,
You hide your pain like it doesn't count.
So when I hear you laugh, are you crying deep inside?
'Cause you fall below the standards in your mind.
Though you'd never deny our God's a loving God,
You feel He turns away when you make mistakes.
But our heavenly Father nurtures his own.
To Him you matter more than you'll ever know

So let the Lord love you
Let His voice be heard above the rest
Hold on o what you know is true
And let the Lord love you.

We may search for truth, but we listen more to lies
Play them over and over in our minds
Till we're left with some distorted point of view
That cripples who we are and all we do.
There are times you gotta fight for all you're worth
Stand up to the voices from the past
And as you draw close to Him the more moments you'll have
When His love overwhelms and you know it's true

That the Lord, He loves you
So let His voice be heard above the rest
Hold on to what you know is true
And let the Lord love you
You gotta let the Lord love you.

-Rory Noland, from the book Heart of the Artist

Spring Break Trip

So S.B. '07 was totally rockin'. Too much awesomeness to even describe. Just imagine my wildest dreams coming true and then some more awesome just for kicks! I don't even know if 'awesome' is quanitifiable (since I don't understand any math past geometry), but if it is then you wouldn't even be able to count the amount of awesome we had.

First of all, I got to see my freakin' family!!! And yes, they are incredible. When I realized that I might not be able to see them over the break I almost died. Then when it worked out that I could see them I practically cried for joy...okay I did. And then when I got to see them it was utter bliss. Needless to say I got a lot of love in the form of great hugs and kisses. I love my family and I want the world to know it (Aside to family: you guys totally rock my whole face off!)!!!

Second of all, I am going to have to write a book of our adventures in Ft. Lauderdale. In leiu of the book, here is the list of titles from each chapter:

1. Where does all that toll money go?
2. They have a tennis court in their back yard?!
3. 300
4. Speedos and Eurotrunks .... hmmm, gross!!!
5. We're going to see Miami Heat play, NOT
6. Stuck in Miami with no gas and useless tickets
7. The girl on the moped
8. IHOP at Southbeach: after midnight
9. Tennis for beginners (Alec can't serve)
10. Do you still say goodmorning when you wake up in the afternoon?
11. Brookstone is fun
12. Tequila Ranch is expensive
13. We're going bowling, PSYCH
14. Memorable Quotes vol. I Kellis' cracks on Alec
15. Memorable Quotes vol. II Alec vs. M.E.: "oh no he didn't!"
16. Memorable Quotes vol. III M.E. vs. Alec: "the comeback"
17. Appendix A: More Memorable Quotes

While most of these chapters require an in depth reading, I hope that the summary whets your appetite for some stories. To all those involved, wow.

Lastly, the final night at the Ryan's was so good. We had an amazing dinner of the Ryan's trademark fuzzy chicken (or was it furry?). And then we sat around and played a few enthralling card games. But as the night wound down things got better and better. We ended up sitting around the living room talking about life. We began by voicing some frustrations with our college experience. Personally, I've been struggling with whether I made the right choice in coming to Covenant. Deep in my heart I know that is where I am supposed to be right now, but I've been losing sight of my motivation. Apathy has become one of my darkest foes and I often don't realize we are in a battle until my butt is kicked. The tendency when faced with reoccuring frustration is to throw in the towel. If you know your butt is about to get kicked again, why even bother getting back in the ring? Well, that has been my reasoning recently. Depending on your perspective that can be a very logical choice. If you have nothing for which to fight then it would be wise to save yourself the pain and embarassment. But is there nothing to fight for? Is it pointless to hope?

I have found that it is not hopeless. We have more than hope, we have a promise. In fact, we can boldly stand on the fact that the battle is already won. There is something worth fighting for, worth living for. My life is made meaningful because of Jesus Christ. I have tasted a life without God, a life not worth living. I have been terrified by the thought of a universe so sterile and lifeless, void of purpose, in a word; pointless. I have wrestled with the truth so paradoxical, so mindboggling until I surrendered to its sweetness. I know I'll never fully understand the truth. But, oh it is so beautiful! My worthless soul is loved and valued by God. The King of the universe looks upon me with love. It is the kindess of the Lord leads me to repentance. I will never comprehend how the Lord calls me His beloved. I; the adulterous whoremonger who runs away to seek love in all the wrong places. I; the unfaithful bride who spits in the face of her perfect groom. I; the ever-forgetful lover who questions their Lover's commitment, while never fully trusting Him myself. I am His beloved.

That is enough for me. I will not lose hope. I will not throw in the towel. There is something good worth living for. It is the good news that the world needs to hear. Yes, it is dark out there. In fact it is downright depressing sometimes. And I am just another mess in this debaucle. But, in spite of myself, He loves me. He values my worthless soul. That is what makes this life worthwhile. There is a light of hope that pierces the darkness. And even the deepest darkness cannot overcome it! The message of love gives hope to all who hear. And that gospel is powerful. Though yet a small flame, it grows into an all-consuming fire. Our God is an awesome God.